crunchatize me cap'n!

longest and most terrible drawing class day EVER. it just went on and on and on...we drew one picture for 4 HOURS. i thought i was going to die.

tonight was nice a relaxing though. had an early dinner, then hung out with yumi for a bit before drawing 9 oldenburg drawings for 3-d tomorrow. had some peanut butter crunch...interesting stuff. i've been eating all day, but really unhealthily. in an attempt to get rid of the halloween candy stash i had hidden in my closet (to prevent me from constantly eating it) i brought it to class. from 2 full bags of minis, i now have 2 mini hundred grands and 1 milky way. i'd say it worked pretty well...had an amazing talk with caty tonight, it had been too long. we talked for probably a good 2 hours at least...maybe more, but it was fun.

i'm going to bed, even though i'm not tired i know i will be tomorrow am. just got out of the shower and now get to go curl up in bed...how lovely.

and it's officially november?! how did that happen? jeez...

back to the real world

amazing weekend, so much fun.
it was so weird seeing j, krugs, jon, and tiffany all in the same weekend. its like two totally different worlds. and in new york city no less. i'm not going into too much detail about exactly what we did, but rest assured it was amazing. i'm sure you were so worried. it went by so quickly i can't believe it's already back to real life. bummer.

on a totally separate note i feel a kind of void in my life right now, i can't exactly put my finger on it though...i guess i'll figure it out soon enough

23: i left my heart in san francisco
plus i now have 2 countdowns i'm not supposed to be keeping. but because the person who doesn't want to know doesn't read this anyway, here they are regardless:
60: uh...don't know a song about this place...
145: and all that jazz

update

home from new york - a couple pictures added to all photo blogs

back to work...

nyc!

off to new york city! i'm so excited! i won't be checking my email or anything so if you need me call my cell phone. have a great weekend everybody! happy halloween!! xo

25: gobble gobble gobble

wow, check it out, only one countdown?! yes indeed...

looking foRward to an amazing weekend...

i missed last night. sorry, i know you're so disappointed. i was painting until the wee hours of the morning (about 4.30ish?) and then decided i should get at least 3 hours of sleep. so i did. all the painting paid off though, my cardboard cut out thingy is going to be in some student/foundation show at the woods ghery building in january.

i'm going to new york tomorrow!! i'm so excited, you have no idea. it'll be good to see the old buddies again. its been much much too long! new york city, here i come! ahhhh! and then jon's thing is on saturday, and i'm staying with j until sunday. then i get to come back here and get back to real life...but for the time being, i'm going to savor it.

we actually stayed in 2-d today until like 5.15, which was late for that class. even though we're technically supposed to get out at six...whatever. it was a long day, but i got a lot of my homework for next week done, which was kinda nice. i took a nap during art history/lunch because i was just too tired. i would have fallen asleep in class anyway. i guess i'm still not used to the college student's schedule. most of my friends have their art history mid-term tomorrow, which sucks, luckily i got mine out of the way on tuesday.

i have so much cumulative work to do, like a chess set. better get on that. which i will, as soon as i get back. i promise myself. gonna go shower, pack, and maybe get to bed early? just kidding, i always say that and it never happens. ever. xo loves

b.t.w, put some new pics on all the picture pages except for the risd one...so yeah, check 'em out! risd ones coming probably later tonight...

san fran in jello

check it out, someone made "the city" out of j-e-l-l-o

http://www.lizhickok.com/assets/portfolio/pages/01city.html

weird.

mm....my left eye...

i survived the dreaded critique and my mid-term. tomorrow i have one class, and a shitload of 2-d to do.

tonight's been tough. scheduling is rough. i've been moody, and i think its rubbing off on the people i interact with. i'm sorry, i'll work on that.

i might go try to get some work done cuz i'm not tired yet. or maybe i'll sleep and do it in the morning. i need a good cry to let out some pent up stuff, even if a lot of it doesn't warrant crying.

i washed my sheets today, they smell like detergent and that makes me happy.

love love, i do

its over

the so-called "worst day of my life" really wasn't so bad afterall. it was kinda tough, but its so nice to be done! yay.

i had drawing from 8:30-12:00, then during lunch i went and mailed some things and studied for my mid-term. then more drawing from 1:00-5:00, which was kinda interesting. we did this exercise where we each start a composition (of model and skeleton) and then we rotate to all the other ones, changing every 5 minutes. so then after drawing i went and got dinner, but took it back to my room to eat because i figured i should get some studying in too. so i did, until about 6:30ish when i finally mastered all of my images! yay. so then off to what cheer for the stupid clay relief...but at least it's done.i got back from what cheer at about 11:30, did the phone thing, took a shower, did some more phone thing, studied a bit more for my midterm, did my sit-ups, and now its bed time.

i'm tired and have been going non-stop all day. this is the first time i've been sitting and not working on something...unless i was on the phone. ciao lovelies!

4: so close i can almost taste it
29: less than a month!

stupid stupid...

i didn't work on my relief. again. it's going to be shit. what the hell is wrong with me?

i need to get out of here. thank god new york is this weekend. i need to vent...

5: a chance to get away from it all
30: home sweet home
is the glass half empty or half full?? that is the question..., ever the optimist, i like to think half full? haha

look look!

lookie lookie, i made a new picture blog (yes, again...). it's in the links list!

p.s. STILL working on the possibility of a second person who will post stuff, but at the rate he goes that may never happen...

today's to-do list:

1) laundry
2) risd store:
a) drawing paper
b) tuff/staedtler mars stick eraser
c) glue stick
d) gouache
e) foam-core
3) clay relief
4) cvs w/ yumi

and here i am sitting on my ass doing nothing. classic.

what a way to spend a saturday

work work work work work. that's all i did today. and watch cinderella, of course, while working. i've finished everything i need to have done (up until wednesday) except for this stupid relief that i just keep putting off even though i know i shouldn't cuz gareth will eat me alive during the crit. but that's what i'm going to do tomorrow. ALL DAY. good times.

and i feel really bad cuz max thought we were going into ny this weekend instead of next, and i couldn't go. too much stuff happening. sorry buddy. can you do it next week? i'll call j.

and i did something today that i thought i'd never do. all it took was a little persuasion and begging. still feels awkward though hun.

yea i'm turning in. i've had a busy day, i got a lot done. i feel really weak, it could be because i forgot to eat dinner...and lunch... i'm so unhealthy, jesus christ. i need to work on that. but i was kinda on a roll today and you know when you're working on something you just can't stop cuz you keep thinking you're almost done or almost there, or you could stand to do it a little longer? yea it was kinda like that. i guess i just forgot to eat. oops.

i need a good night's sleep. last night was kinda restless and i had a very difficult dream, to say the least. i'm like shaking now, this is bad. i'm off to beddy-by! i love you all.

6: less than a week. shit.
31: just about a month! so close...
still not allowed to say the last one, but i've got a countdown going on my dashboard, haha.

i'm sure

i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure. i'm sure.

and yet i'm so not sure about everything else in my life.

beddy-by time

i'm going to bed early tonight so i can get up early tomorrow. i know i always say that, but i swear i will this time.

jack didn't notice that i didn't do my homework. but i've got a lot of work ahead of me for next week. i was actually in the clasroom this afternoon for probably a total of about an hour. out of like 4 and a half.i love that class.

watched blazing saddles w/ yumi today. fucking hilarious movie.

sOOOO much work this weekend. i'm really going to just die. i'm so scared.

goodnight, i'll probably post again in the am.

9: omg single digits!
33: still not single digits, but getting really close to a month!
i'm not allowed to count the other one.

guilt trip...

i'm such a slacker, not doing my 2-d homework. tisk tisk. whatever, massey isn't going to notice anyway. i have so much to do before next weekend (ny!) i think i might die. of overworking and of the cold. boo. it hasn't hit yet, but i'm so not ready for when it does. it's been a wet fall so far, which means it'll be a wet winter too. good times.

it didn't rain today! i got to wear my new boots. i'm a fan of them, hey're really comfortable. and i got to wear a skirt, for probably the last time, like, ever. i was looking at some old pictures (well, ok, not old. like, from the summer, haha) and i feel like i already look different then i did then. its kinda weird. it could also be that i'm horribly un-photogenic. hmm...

i'm off to do crunches and then turn-in early. perhaps it'll ease some of my guilt about not doing the 2-d homework..ahh...
goodnight friends

10: 5'8"
34: 5'6"

*k's personal palm pilot*
to do:
1) ask parents about january (twice)
2) check email to get blogger thing worked out
3) stop doubting!

assassin

mmm...flashcards. i know what i'll be doing all day tomorrow (minus the hour or so of english that i have). study study study...and think of a list of good and bad things and a way to present that interestingly. my 2-d class is so vague and obscure, i love it but it makes it harder too. had a mini-homework-party in the room today. yumi was in here for a while, and caroline stopped by for a couple hours too. and saera burst in the door and scared the shit outta me. oh and maya made lemon pudding for us today, it was rather delectable, but i'm not a huge fan of pudding usually.

i'm afraid to go into the hallway because apparantly someone on our hall has me as their assassin target. not cool. greg just told me not to go outside...actually his words were, "i know who's trying to kill leigh anne. don't leave your room. ever."...greaat...oh well, i guess if i die then i don't have to worry about finding laura nalesnik or whoever my target's name is. they're trying to get us to play this game to get to know each other better, but instead everyone is just avoiding each other and running away from people. haha, oh well. at least it's not like the homer kids who had to carry around forks with them all the time to protect themselves from being assassinated. no forks for south hall, we're classier than that, haha.

i feel so unhealthy. like all i ever eat is junk food cuz that's like all the met uses. they're so not discreet about reusing the same stuff over and over again. haha, oh well. really makes you miss the home cooking though, they weren't kidding. anyhow, i'm turning in rather early again tonight. gonna get up earlier so i can do laundry and take out the trash and take a shower in the morning. good night.

11: fly me to the moon
25: over the river and through the woods
157: unchained melody

just because

mmmm i'm tired...didn't sleep enough last night. 4am - 7am...ew. everyone around me is stressing me out, i feel like i'm not working hard enough to be here. whatever. i get it done, i guess. not too much to say. had drawing today. it went by pretty quickly...ooh and there might be a second person posting on this blog, if we can get it to work. later lovers.

no countdown tonight, sorry. i know you're oh so disappointed.

before i go to work

before i continue on this horrendous rhinoceros, i thought i'd post. so in case i fall asleep mid-rhino, i'll be ok. i am in much better spirits today. not nearly as confused as i have been for...oh, 3 months now? cleared the air, got some things settled, it was kinda nice. i have a very happy future ahead of me, if things go "according to plan". which, of course, they never do. but in this case i really REALLY hope they do. i'm just really content. its a good feeling. even though theres this stupid rhino looming over me, i still feel like things will be ok. and that makes me happy. its amazing how much a mood can shift, just like that. i was so down yesterday, and kinda the day before too, though i can't really say why. but today i'm happy. its been a while since i could honestly say that. anyway, i must go off to these rhinos...boo. i'm gonna try to finish by 3. that's my goal. later lovelies.

12: ooold friends and a party down in nyc!
38: la familia and a home-cooked meal. yum yum
i promised i'd stop counting the other one. so i will. it makes it seem so much longer.

something to cheer you up

here's just a little something to cheer up anyone who is having a bad day. god knows i need it:

1. At least 2 people in this world LOVE you so much they would DiE for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A SMiLE from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special & unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you BELiEVE in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. FORGET about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

it's all true, you know.

another survey

caty always has the best surveys. where the hell does she find these things? i'm doing this, then going to bed. i've had an emotional day.

1. Ever been given a ring?: uh...nope :-(

2. Longest Relationship?: that depends what you count as a relationship...2 years, on & off

3. Last gift you gave someone?: um..sad when i can't think of it huh?...oh, a little clutch for saera in boston last saturday

4. How many times have you dropped your cell?: dropped it? maybe twice...drowned it? once.

5. Last Sport Played?: i don't really do sports...if you know me you'll understand why

6. Things you spend a lot of money on: art supplies, goddam it. anyone who has ever been to art school can sympathize

7. Three things you ate last?: grilled chicken from the met, mixed veggie sticks, and...oatmeal? (throughout the day)

8. What you notice first about the opposite sex: eyes. my weakness.

9. One favorite song: "I'm pregnant" by Kleenexgirlwonder - thanks to ayano's interns BONZAI!!

10. Where do you live? risd south 1! yea, we're awesome.

11. High school you attend(ed): san francisco university high school...longest high school name, ever.

12. Cell phone service provider: usually cingular, but out east it likes to think its tmobile??

13. Favorite mall store: at this mall, jasmine sola

14. Longest Job held: job...i guess it would have to be 6 weeks this summer at a design firm in sf...i'm so spoiled, goddam it.

15. Do you own a pair of dice: i think i have some silver fuzzy dice somewhere, but i don't think that's what you mean.

16. Do you prank call people: not anymore.

17. Last wedding attended: ester & anthony's in bangkok, thailand 2 summers ago. i miss you two!

18. First friend you call if you won the lottery: mmm...i dunno.

19. Last time you attended church: i think i went for easter service at grace cathedral with my dad one year, but i don't really remember. i must have been like 8 years old.

20. Favorite fast food restaurant: in-n-out. oh how i miss it.

21. Biggest lie you've heard: "i love you"...so sad, haha.

22. Where do you work?: nowhere right now. full time student.

23. Where do you go to college?: rhode island school of design

24. Can you cook?: haha, uh... i'm ok at some things...

25. What kinda car do you drive?: 2004 vw bug convertible

26. Best kiss?: no comment.

27. Last time you cried?: about an hour ago

28. Most hated food: hummus..eww..

29. Thing you like most about yourself: i hate these questions. 0 self confidence.

30. Thing you hate most about yourself: i'm SUCH a procrastinator.

32. Longest work shift worked: i think something like 10/11 hours at eight inc 2 summers ago, but it was just cuz i had no ride home and they had to stay really late.

33. Favorite Movie?: cinderella!! hahahaha

34. Can you sing?: oh god no. but i do anyway

35. Last concert attended: um..lollapalooza? wow, that was a while ago

36. Favorite Restaurant: pancho villa...oh, and "happy cafe" but only for breakfast

37. Last movie rented: harold and kumar go to white castle. never finished that...was suddenly kinda busy...

38. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: i'm such a wuss, but mixed stuff. mojitos are pretty much amazing. especially made special by annie on a floating house on lake shasta

39. Thing you never leave home without: risd id! ahh haha, my keychain (w/id), cell phone

40. Immediate vacation spot?: hawaiiii! right now, dammit.

41. Reason you did this survey?: cuz i secretly love these things, even though they are oh-so-pointless.

something to think about

why is it that sometimes you don't realize just how much of an impact something has on your life until its gone...like its the absence that makes you realize just how much you appreciated it being there. hm. oh well, back to the drawing board. literally.

it's a mixed bag

right now, i'm feeling:
excited: cuz of max and i's surprise for jesse in ny in 2 weeks, and jon's dinner is only 15 days away.
unfulfilled: something about my schedule was different tonight. i missed something.
lazy: i don't wanna do my homework, but i am. and since i'm lazy, it sucks.
anxious: i have so much work to do.
nervous: that i won't get it all done.
pretty: cuz yumi and i did mini-makeovers. such girls.
cold: cuz the heater doesn't get turned on until "mid-october". but it IS mid-october.
special: someone i wasn't expecting to paid me a surprise visit.
bitter: "something" that i used to think was important and special to me has now lost all its meaning. boo.

and it poured all day long.

as you can see, still sappy

happy sweetest day everyone! (on saturday...it's like valentines day, but not so formal)

-To every guy that says I love you.
-To every guy that opens doors.
-To every guy that walks on the outside of a sidewalk so he can be the first to get hit by a car that careens off the road and push her out of the way.
-To every guy that cooks dinner for her.
-To every guy that said, "Sex can wait."
-To every guy that said, "You're beautiful."
-To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
-To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick (And even a stuffed animal perhaps).
-To every guy who has given her flowers just because
-To every guy that said he would die for her.
-To every guy that really would.
-To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
-To every guy that treated her like a princess.
-To every guy that cried in front of her.
-To every guy that she cried in front of.
-To every guy that holds hands with her.
-To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
-To every guy that hugs her when shes sad.
-To every guy who would give their jacket up.
-To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
-To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.
-To every guy that would give his seat up.
-To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
-To every guy that will just sleep (no sex) with her.
-To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what (even if she got fat).
-To every guy who told his secrets to her.
-To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
-To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
-To every guy that believed in her dreams.
-To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
-To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
-To every guy that actually listened.

p.s. NEW PICTURES! CHECK 'EM OUT (risd & me)

mmm...moody

i am having a moody and dysfunctional evening. i've been very unproductive...well, actually that's not really true. i've been unproductive about writing this stupid english paper that i just can't seem to finish. i've done like everything else that i could ever need to do (i even vacuumed!) just to avoid doing my homework. so sad. i have such terrible ADD tonight. and apparantly it wasn't just me either, cuz saera just called and was complaining about the same thing.

so yea other than being completely unproductive, i've also been very moody. i had another kinda mini-break down earlier tonight. i'm feeling very sappy tonight. and kinda lonesome, even though there are all kinds of people around. 2-D today was pretty boring, critiques ALL DAY. boo. i'm gonna add some picture to the risd and me blogs tonight, and try to get some others from andrew cuz he had some good ones.

good night lovers

16: marc jacobs
40: jeans and a t-shirt
161: "travel clothes"

btw, "i do."

oopsie daisy

it seems that i missed yesterday entirely! oops. that's the first time i missed a day. that makes me so sad. it wasn't too exciting. had 3-D all day, did some clay relief stuff, yeah, not too much work. alice, saera, and i went to thayer to look for red ponchos. instead we found red sheets which actually work better for our little red riding hood project. so cold and wet and windy. boo.

we spent about...well, too many hours sewing a cutting (with a break for dinner of course) tonight. good times...i woke up at about 12.45ish this AFTERNOON. i thought that was kinda crazy. i slept almost 11 hours last night, more like 10.5, but thats a new record for me! well, at least at school. and yet somehow i was still tired in english class. alice said it was due to a)boredom and b)sleeping too much. sometimes sleeping too much just makes someone more grogy. like what happened to matt when they were visiting here last weekend. however, some people don't buy this theory, but i think thats just because they're in denial. it's totally true.

so yea, english was boring, the late afternoon and evening were spent sewing, and the remainder of the night was spent either eating junk food with yumi or talking on the telephone. i'm gonna go take a shower as soon as whoever is in there now gets out. they keep turning the water on and off and on and off. sheesh. gonna go "present" little red riding hood tomorrow. mmm...fun...i get to be the pretty one! hahaha. also received an interesting spring break proposal tonight, which i'm not totally opposed to now that i think about it.

oh, and i had an amazing epiphany that i was 3 days behind on my spring break countdown!...but i was also a day ahead on my thanksgiving countdown. boo. xox

17: 99 E. 52nd Street
41: 665 Fairway Circle
162: 10000 West O'Hare, Terminal 1

P.S. RIsD pics coming soon...maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow...you'll get to see the little red riding hoods in all their glory.

longest day EVER

ahhhh drawing went on FOREVER today. we had a nude model, so we were standing up the entire time. next time remind me that rain boots have zero support. and i threw away my rhino. i'm starting over.

took a break from 5 PM to about 9 PM. I found the oldenburg pieces that I'm going to do for the chess set, and made myself a homework schedule. so far, i'm sticking to it. i guess i'd better cuz some people want me to do well in college.

saera and i walked over to what cheer to work on our clay reliefs at around 9-ish. like half our class was there. we hung out for a bit with alisha, elaine, and lauren, but they left early. ben and julian stuck around for a while, and alice and andrew came by too. we were all trying to figure out what we were going to do for our little red riding hood projects. cuz apparantly gareth doesn't check the reliefs anyway. there are some pretty funny ideas. andrew is doing it in moarse code, ben and julian are doing a drug trip, and me, alice and saera...well, that's a surprise.

so me, saera, alice, and andrew walked back to the quad (cuz its unsafe for only girls to walk alone at night. even though, yes, i had my pepper spray and we each have a rape whistle). we finalized our idea for little red riding hood, then i came back and made some customary phone calls before taking a shower and now going to bed. or trying. caroline and preston are being really loud. i think my other ear is infected now. gross. and i have a cut on my tongue. gross too.

anyway, peace out lovelies.

18: i heart ny
42: i realized turkeys go gobble gobble, not cluck cluck
165: ua flight...i actually don't know

compatibility tester...mm..

i think these things are really funny. test away my loves.

Love Calculator Type in 2 names and hit calculate Name 1 Name 2

update!

new pics on the risd blog. that is all.

rhinoceros

first it was the shell, now its a rhinoceros. i don't even know how to spell rhinoceros. oh well.

we went to japanese food today, which was a nice change. i feel like all i've eaten is met food (mm..mm..), italian, and johnny rockets for the past month. i need some variety in my life. although i guess its good that life isn't TOO interesting, or i'd never get anything done.

oh, and today was shannon's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNON!!

it was kinda rainy today, everything is wet. and its getting colder. boo. i'm wearing my rain boots tomorrow. yay!

ooh and we have nude models in drawing tomorrow. which means gesture drawings, which i'm soo bad at. oh well, its good practice, especially if i do end up deciding to go into apparel.

anyway, i'm off to bed. i did my crunches too! go me. i need to get up in 4 hours and 45 minutes to get ready for class. rah rah. maybe i'll actually try to have breakfast tomorrow. then again, i say that everyday.

and i took a few pictures this weekend. i'll post them when i'm not so lazy and busy buying people pants ;-)

i love you and miss you all. hope everything is well.

p.s. hey ao: wanna go ice fishing? ;-)


19: the big apple, 3 AM
43: cluck cluck cluck
166: he'll be away a lot in the beginning..uh...

parents weekend

this weekend was parents weekend. i'm posting this from the hotel room at the westin hotel. we went to boston today. did a LOT of shopping. 10 hours. yikes. but i found a dress and stuff, which was good. we picked up matt from logan at like 10 pm too. he grew, he's a good inch or so taller than me now i think. kinda sad.

saw trevor and charles too. we went and got some pizza and hung out at trevor's apartment for a while. such a boy's apartment, its kinda funny. i'm so tired right now, i've been up on my feet for too long.

good night lovers.

21: new york, new york
44: a thanksgiving turkey
167: i've never looked forward to o'hare more

no class!

so today was pretty much amazing. fridays are normally good because i only have class for an hour and a half. but today, for some reason, joon didn't show up for class. which also means, no homework for wednesday! woohoo!

so instead of english class, saera, alice, and i went to thayer street to do a little shopping. good times. except it started pouring down rain before we managed to get all the way to thayer. oops. and of course, as soon as we go inside this tea shop, it stops raining. we ran into yumi and her mom at the tea shop too. just goes to show how little there actually is to do in providence.

i'm going to boston tomorrow with my mom and saera, and matt is flying in at about 9:30 pm. mom is actually on her way over here from boston now, if she can make it through the "big dig". saera and i are having lunch with trevor and charles too, which is so exciting! i haven't seen those kids in what seems like forever. kyle warned me that chuck's voice has changed a bit, which is weird cuz i distinctly remember it cracking all the time all through middle school. ah puberty.

and then like two weeks from now i'm gonna see max and j, and in 3 weeks jon and tiffany and meet a bunch of jon's friends in nyc, also very exciting. i've really gotta start working harder during the week if i wanna be able to spend all this time away from campus. anybody have any tips for NOT procrastinating?

anyway, i'm gonna go pack up cuz i'm staying at the hotel tonight w/ me madre. a private shower. woo and hoo. later lovers.

0!: chuck, trevy, and shopping!
21: jon, tiff, and new ppl (in nyc!)
44: la familia @ thanksgiving!!!
168: kevy @ chicago's o'hare. weird.

countdowns

ok, so because of all the COMPLAINTS i've been getting from you people (sheesh, haha) i now have 4 countdowns happening at once:

1: boston

22: ny

45: thanksgiving

169: spring break

so many things to look forward too! i'm so happy!

i'm so lucky

overall, i was in a pretty good mood today. which was nice.

i've still got a lot of sinus pressure in my head though, which sucks. we watched born into brothels in 2D today. that is a seriously depressing movie. its about the children of prostitutes in the redlight district in calcutta. i feel so lucky after watching that. it seems like everything is going so well for them, and then the credits roll and all but two of them either dropped out of school or their parents wouldn't let them go. sad. at least 3 or 4 people in our class were crying when it ended. it really makes me appreciate everything i have, you know? i should really stop bitching and whining about stupid stuff and really learn to appreciate what i have. i'm going to work on that. don't let me whine so much.

i discovered there is an L&L like ten minutes from our house in california. who knew? and they're opening a bunch more in the area. its kinda funny. so andrea, if you ever crave "plate lunch"...haha.

i need to start doing animal studies...which animal should i do? i've gotta work on this thing for two weeks. actually only like one now. oops. anyway i'm sleepy. i just did my crunches and push ups, which temporarily gave me a little energy, but now i'm tired again. i don't have much to say, except today was a generally good day.

oh, but i fell asleep in art history. oops. much love.

170

sickly lil' thing

i am sick. officially.

i've been in denial for the past day, but i can now officially say that i am sick. my nose and head are killing me, and i think i have a fever too. boo. i took some sudafed earlier, and i'm going to take some vitamin c before i go to sleep. today was a usual wednesday, nothing particularly exciting to report.

i'm not that tired, but i promised a certain someone that i'd try to rest more, and sleep more. so i am. i just finished my 2-d and english homework, so i'm off to bed. good night.

gonna do a few crunches and stuff first though. so much for rest.

171

i have a lust for life.

it's amazing how music brings back so many memories. itunes makes me smile.

starting to think about my health a bit

i discovered, while attempting to make my bed this morning, that its kinda creaky. anybody got some WD-40?
first full day of 3-D today! it was pretty good. i like this teacher, i feel like his critiques are actually HELPFUL, which is a plus. and i'm excited about my projects, but i hate clay already. boo.i know this class is going to be a lot of work. need to work on my time management skills, badly.

i did more crunches and other stuff today, which i guess is doing something. i only did 2 sets of 50 of each one (5 different kinds, i don't know what they're called), so at this rate it could take a while.. i tried to do some push-ups, but i did about ten before my arms freaked out cuz of all that clay carrying i did today. i don't think i'll be able to move them tomorrow.

i looked in the mirror today and i thought i had gained weight, but yumi's scale keeps telling me otherwise. i don't know whats going on. unfortunately eating healthy is like impossible at RISD unless I cook for myself. right, like that's ever gonna happen, so for right now i've gotta just focus on eating less and exercising, cuz i don't think i'm going to be getting any healthier anytime soon otherwise.

i really think theres something wrong with my back. it kept popping and snapping while i was doing some of these sit-up-esque things. i was using my like bed-spread/blanket thingy as a make-shift yoga mat, but it doesn't do much on linoleum, even if i do have my little rug here too. i need one of andrea's posture correctors or something. ow.

i've decided i need to take calcium supplements because i'm not getting enough here. i never drink milk (i have ONCE since i've gotten to school), and other than that the only place i'm getting my dairy from is ice cream. and i guess cheese if its in anything, but i'm definately not getting enough. maybe i'll get some a target tomorrow.

one of my nostrils is plugged and the other isn't. it's driving me insane. why can't they just agree. i've been taking vitamin c and chugging orange juice and lemondae, so hopefully i'm not getting sick. it seems like EVERYONE here is getting sick. poor alice was a mess today. Ji didn't come to class cuz she wasn't feeling well either, poor girl.

i can hear yumi talking on the tele, that noisy girl, haha. and someone is just NOW taking a shower. hm. and preston is lecturing someone about something...i think. caroline just got home. its amazing how much you can hear through these walls. kinda unsettling, but i guess good to know. cuz if i can hear them, they can hear me.

gonna see chucky mc-duck and trevy-wevy on saturday!! so excited, it's been too long! 4 years for chuck and...well, not even 1 for trevor, but that's still too long. especially when you consider that we've known each other for 14 years. shiiit.

i loves you all and i miss you (..............................................this............................................) much. actually more than that.

ow.

i just walked almost 6 blocks (3 of which were uphill) carrying 50 pounds of white earthenware clay. the thing weighed almost half as much as i did. i don't think my arms will be much use to me tomorrow. ow.

though i have to say, i felt much lighter afterwards!

i can't sleep

why is it that when you're so tired, you just can't sleep? i guess i've got a lot on my mind. i'm not home-sick, but i'm kevy-sick... if that makes any sense. six months is such a long time. waahhh

bah...so tired...

we went to the zoo today for drawing. i didn't know rhode island had a zoo. it was cute, good to get off campus.

i finished my 3-D homework, which was surprisingly not bad. i thought it would take me longer. i guess i was wrong. i just got back from my shower and, like i promised, i did some sit ups and "girl" push-ups before hand. i doubt it'll do any good, but it makes me feel just a TAD less lazy. i'll just keep telling myself that walking = exercise...although i'm not getting much of a work out. oh well.

i felt like i was just going non-stop today since seven this morning until now. its kinda crazy. i'm so tired and i've got to get up in 6 hours to deal with the teacher everyone is terrified of. i think that's kind of funny cuz that's exactly what he wants. he purposly tried to scare us the first day by giving us "a lot" of work, but the thing was that he gave us 2 weeks to do it cuz he was gone last week. funny how that works.

anyway i'm off to bed. i'm so tired. good night lovers & friends

a brief contemplation of time

i have this feeling that i just need to slow down. it's weird because time seems like it's passing soo sloowwly each day, and yet i'm thinking about everything way too quickly. like time in my mind is going at twice the speed of regular time. somehow i want more instant gratification, faster results, but time just can't keep up with what i want. it's weird. i'm being impatient, and thats making everything seem like its taking longer. at least, when i'm in the moment. i know i'm sorry i'm being intentionally frustraitingly vague about this kind of stuff, but thats just the general mood i'm getting. just to share.

i wish i could just force myself to slow down a bit, because then maybe time would pass faster. and its not that i don't like whats happening now and want it to end, its just that i want so many other things to happen RIGHT NOW, and they can't. i have to wait, and its this waiting and anticipation that i can't stand. but i know that before i know it it'll be thanksgiving, then christmas, wintersession, SPRING BREAK...but just the process of time passing is going so slow. that always happens, when you look back you can't believe just how quickly everything has happened, but in the moment it feels so much slower than that.

four months ago i was rejoicing b/c i didn't have any finals, and preparing to graduate from HIGH SCHOOL. ready to move on.

three months ago i was just getting back from spending A WEEK IN SHASTA, and getting ready to spend A WEEK IN HAWAII with my two BEST FRIENDS. amazing times. i love you both and miss you so much.

two months ago i was in hawaii WITH MY FAMILY AND A FRIEND. getting ready for new zealand... THE TIME OF MY LIFE.

one month ago i had just gotten back from WISCONSIN and was preparing to start driving to COLLEGE the next day.

and today i'm here, working and playing and thinking about how much has happened recently. and how it seems like so much has happened in 4 months, and just how long that seems to have taken. maybe because these past four months were particularly eventful, so it seems like they took a long time to pass. september went by so fast, i've found a kind of rhythm in life now, and maybe that's helping the process along.

i just have so many memories i've had to sort through over the summer and now that i'm into the swing of school they seem even more distant...even though 1 month really isn't THAT long, it feels like what was happening then was forever ago. why is that?

sorry ao, too tired for headlines tonight. i love you though.

flattering...

if you're feeling down, and need a little bit of a pick-me-up, try out this website:

http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html

i don't know about you, but flattery normally works on me. i'll be back later.

oops! headlines! edition 2

sorry andrea, almost forgot the headlines!

1. bali terrorist blast kills at least 26. goddam it. what the fuck is our world coming to.
2. a 5.4 earthquake in taiwan + a typhoon. that poor little island.
3. the us military launches "operation iron fist" in iraq's anbar province. of course, everyone cleared out before they got there.
4. there could be two new tropical storms..stan and tammy or something like that. its been a long season.
5. paris hilton calls off her wedding! what a surprise...i thought she did that like a week ago.
6. an old rich american guy goes to a space center on a "trip". interesting place for some vaca

i don't know what else to tell you. i guess today was relatively uneventful in the news too. g'night.

minor stress

i don't really know what to say. believe it or not i'm kinda talked out at this point. i just need to be by myself and think for a while. do you ever get the feeling that you need a good cry? well i'm kinda feeling like that now, only i can't bring myself to cry cuz i really have nothing to cry about. i just feel like i need to. i found my teddy bear wedged between my bed and the cinderblock wall today. poor guy looked so squished. i'm kinda stressed cuz i've got so much work to do tomorrow and i don't want to do it. i've just gotta get some of this stuff out of the way tonight...but its 2 am...bah.

i'm thinking about joining netflix...good or bad idea? input needed, thanks

i love you all, off to work now (even though the captain told me not to)...but i HAVE to. ew.

p.s. i posted 2 more pics on the risd page, if anyone is interested. they're from the nature lab. i should have taken more pictures. woe is me.

something to think about

i keep imagining that you are right here with me, but alas, you are not. and you don't know how sad that makes me.

my birth-time astrology reading

so yea, i did one of these birth-time astrology chart things to see what it would say about me. its kinda funny, but some of the things it says are actually kinda true. weird. am i really that insensitive and harsh? i'm sorry ;-) here it is:

There are some significant differences between the way you appear to others and how you are at heart. Your warm, supportive, nurturing side can conflict with your freedom-loving side, which is described below. In short, you may feel torn between taking care of others, and "flying free". You must keep things in balance so that you have enough time and freedom to explore, travel and play. Striving for this balance is an unending challenge for you. As kind and sympathetic as you are, there are limits to the amount of time and energy you can dedicate to taking care of other people. Those that really know you understand that you are an adventurer at heart, and personal commitments (especially when others depend on you) easily become burdensome.

You are a gambler and an adventurer at heart, one who loves to take risks, to discover and explore new worlds, and to take the untried path rather than the safe, reliable one. You are an independent soul, freedom-loving, and often very restless. You need a lifestyle that provides opportunities for travel, movement, change and meeting new people. A steady routine, which offers much in the way of security but little in the way of space and freedom, is odious to you.

To you, life is a journey, an adventure, endlessly interesting and rich with possibilities, and it may be difficult for you to decide where to focus your attention and efforts. You probably traveled around and experimented with many different paths before you settled on a particular career. Or you may go from one project to the next, for once the challenge and vital interest is gone, you are very quick to move on. Commitment, discipline, focus and concentration are not your strong points. You can be irresponsible and disinclined to take on the burdens and limitations of adult life.

An incurable optimist, you have big dreams, aspirations, and hopes for the future and are usually pursuing some distant goal. You have a great deal of faith and trust in life and failures don't crush your spirit. You always bounce back from disappointments, often with another bright dream or scheme. You have a sporting, playful attitude toward life and are philosophical about your mistakes. You have the ability to sense future trends, to see the big picture, and you like to theorize and speculate. However, attending to all of the details and practical requirements of implementing your theories is bothersome to you.

You express yourself in a very open, direct, and straightforward manner and are often blunt and tactless as well. Because you do not take yourself too seriously, you may not realize how deeply your candid statements can wound more sensitive souls. In fact, though you may not realize it, your insensitivity and lack of understanding regarding others' feelings is probably one of your worst faults.

You do enjoy friendship and camaraderie, but you need freedom also and do not do well with a possessive, clinging, or emotionally demanding partner. You are quite generous yourself, and heartily dislike pettiness in others. Someone who shares your ideals, your sense of fun and your zest for life would be the right companion for you.

Your energies are directed to either perfecting your techniques, skills and abilities in work, or in "perfecting", refining and improving yourself as a person. Critical analysis and attention to minute detail are intrinsic in either process. The urge to bring about a state of wholeness or optimal functioning is a strong motivation of yours, and you are quite a perfectionist!

You can easily become overly identified or involved with the function you perform, with your work, or with your own health and "growth process".

You have big aspirations and the desire to succeed in life in a grand way. You tend to exaggerate, to promise more than is possible and to misjudge through being overly optimistic. However, you never lose your hopes for the future. Restlessness and discontent with responsibilities and limitations in life can be troublesome for you.

However you also have a heavier side which keeps your optimism from becoming ungrounded or overblown. You tend to seesaw between your faith, vision and high aspirations, and your caution and realism (or fear!). You cannot and do not rely on good luck or grace alone, and you accept the need for hard work. Your doubting or "heavy" side is described below.

You have a mature and often somber demeanor. You are serious, reserved, self-disciplined, highly responsible and conscientious. You advance in life rather slowly, through your own efforts and persistence. You are also rather stern and judgmental, especially with yourself. Cautious and careful, it is difficult for you to really let go, to be spontaneous and playful. You like to be in control of yourself.

You are direct, energetic, sometimes aggressive and combative. You often feel that you need to fight to get what you want and you tend to have a "me-first" attitude that angers or irritates others. You are hasty, restless, impatient and sometimes reckless.