sorting things out

sometimes its hard to differentiate between whether i feel like i'm having trouble with my relationship because of me or the person that i'm in the relationship with. right not i'm not really satisfied with what is happening, but i'm not sure if thats just temporary or if its because we don't really fit well together all the time. i know that everybody has issues from time to time, and i'm not sure if i'm feeling justifiably unsatisfied. i don't feel special right now, i feel like an obligation or a problem instead, something that i'm not happy with. everytime he's not alone all of a sudden he becomes cold and i become a burden.

i still don't think i'm dealing well with the physical distance in our relationship. hopefully next year it will get easier as we get closer to one another.

just an update, i'm going to art center. i'm still hoping i made the right decision. i'm going to miss everyone at risd so much, but not really the school itself. and not rhode island at all. krit is coming tomorrow, it'll be nice to see someone from school again. and then i'll see isao on monday/tuesday and hopefully being around people again will help. i think the more busy i keep myself the easier this next month will be. that's my goal. to stay busy.