hm...

i've found that i always blame myself for everything. that even if someone else messes up, as long as it has something to do with me i find some way to make at least some part of it my fault. i don't do this intentionally, but i realized it today as i was writing in my "real" journal, and when the truth was too painful, or somehow unexplainable, i would blame it on myself. this has to be unhealthy.

in other news, school so far is a breeze. i have my second day of class tomorrow, for 3 hours. i have class 3 hours a day monday and tuesday. then i have a 5 day weekend. for the next 6 weeks. if anyone wants to come visit, sometime in the next six weeks is the best time. i know that no one is planning on visiting, but if you'd like to, most of you are welcome.

i had a pretty fun weekend. ben and i explored a new part of town (and found the fabled blockbuster), which was kind of exciting. nice long walk = good chance to catch up. friday was alice's birthday, we made and served her dinner. yesterday was champagne, pistachios, and a section 13 reunion in ben's room. well, there were only about half of us, but we decided that the 9 of us that were there could totally kick the other 11 member's asses. we (me, saera, alice, ji, ben, anton, cody, and isau) went to federal hill last night for good italian food. so good to get out of the met. i spent all day yesterday at the mall with yumi. i walked a lot this weekend, a nice change. alice and i went to whole foods tonight and got followed by some creep in a long coat (who after a block and a half of kinda circling around us, just crossed the street and went back the other direction). i guess i know what that mase is for.

people here are starting to make plans about where they're going to live next year. saera asked if i wanted to share an apartment with her, alice, and one more person we need to find. i said yes, if i'm here. it's so weird to say that. that reminds me, i need to work on that application. but i'm so torn because i really like the people here, and the school, but they just don't have my stupid major i want. ech.

i've made some great friends. since it seems like everyone and their mother is having relationship problems, it really helps to have friends around to talk to. it's weird, when you live with each other you become so much closer so much more quickly. i guess never having gone to boarding school (and only to camp a few times) i've never really experienced that. i like it.

good night.